he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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