it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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