I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This baby is an asshole
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
