I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
