I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
