well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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