OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize