Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
