K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize