But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
