i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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