I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
