So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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