I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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