I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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