Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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