i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
