i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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