i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
