Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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