Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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