Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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