nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
