my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
