Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
