i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
