Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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