it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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