Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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