i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
