dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
