I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
