just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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