So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
