Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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