I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
