I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
