I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
