i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
