he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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