im about as happy as oj after his trial
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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