one might say we're banned from that church
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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