Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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