you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Still dying that you shit outside
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
