I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
