She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
