You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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