Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
