we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
