one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He felt like a one man threesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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