I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
