You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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