So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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