yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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