let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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