and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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