all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We need to rekindle our bromance
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
