the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
