No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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