So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
