doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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