I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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