We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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