I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
