I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
