I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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