this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize