Whod you bang
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
