i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
