Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
